Originally posted on a facebook page I manage:
Forgive and forget.
These are words you would usually hear from other people when someone had wronged you; words that are easier said than done.
Why do you have to forgive when they have caused you much pain? When all the trust you’ve invested was thrown away like it’s nothing but a worthless word? When the people, especially your own blood or close friends, whom you’ve thought would never do anything to harm or hurt you are the reasons for your misery? Or when somebody who doesn’t even know you talks about you like you’re the worst human being alive ? They aren’t worthy of your forgiveness, right?
They are monsters who want nothing but to see you live in wrath and grief. They want to see you ruined; they want to see you cry in pain.
Then you start to let anger fill your heart. You let it rule your life like it’s the best way to cope with all the cruelty they’ve shown you. You learn to never trust someone easily; to always keep a wary eye on every person around you. You start to harbor grudge toward the people who had offended you. You become vengeful that you unconsciously do things you never thought you’d be able to do; you slowly become the person you used to hate–the monster who hurts other people.
Have you already become one of them?
Does holding onto resentment toward these people help you sleep at night? Does it make you feel better? Does it give you satisfaction and mirth? It doesn’t, right? It only makes you feel more miserable; it only keeps you living in the past. If you let them linger in your being, you can never move forward.
You can still change your path. You can still choose to forgive (but no, never forget).
They’ve already hurt you. Don’t let them ruin you.
Learn to let go of the pain and anger.
You don’t have to forget what they’ve done for it’s a lesson you should learn. It makes you wiser. It makes you cautious in every action you take. It must be a warning that you should never do the same thing because you know how it feels.
A priest once said in his homily, “Magpatawad ka hindi dahil karapat-dapat silang patawarin. Magpatawad ka bilang regalo sa iyong sarili.”
(Forgive those who have wronged you, not because they’re worthy of your forgiveness, but because it is your gift for yourself)