Artwork by: Kevin Requio

(Originally published in The Licom Collegian)

I was walking on a trail,
To a place, I’ve always known
A land you must have heard of;
A tale that must be told

In the woods, I saw blithesome colors
Of life, love and harmony
Gratified by this miracle, birds chitter
Humming a mirthful melody

Flowers dance with the breeze
Showing off pulchritude; alluring the bees
Felicitously flying from one to another
Savoring pollen; a procreant deed

Sunshine streaks through the leaves
Sending warm to every living thing
The waters flow from the stream
Crystal clear where fishes swim.

At night, the moon speaks
Of a starry sky and serenity
Wind plays a tune of bliss
Blanketed with tranquility

Delighted, I wanted to see more
So I took a step, yet I stumbled.
My surrounding twirled, everything’s disheveled
And I almost cried with the sight
Like a battlefield after a fight.

The sun that gives off light and life
Now irately pierces through thin air
The once fertile land is now barren,
Let’s change – an uproar; but when?

The aftermath of our cruelty
Nature’s wrath is a living hell
Climate change; drought and floods
Raging storms ruthlessly taking lives

Can you hear her cry?
Do you get her message?
It’s karma, but we shan’t lose hope
There are still ways to save the globe

Nature is a gift from up above
A treasure to cherish from God
Feel, think, act; don’t just talk
Remember, we only have one earth

I pray not to walk on a shattered trail
To a place unknown.
A land I once heard of;
A tale I wish not to be told



And so I walk with my bare feet;
Only to efface the numbness in it.
and feel the cold railings which lingers;
beneath my fragile fingers.

I look into you,
With my eyes shouting every woe;
Deafening silence blankets the night,
And a query comes out, “would you make things right?”

If I fall into you,
Would cold sweat start streaming down my cheeks?
Would my heart stubbornly beat against my chest?
Would my hand quiver,
like a flower dancing in a tempest?

If I fall into you,
Would the cool breeze caress my face,
As the sunshine streaks unto my skin?
Would I hear the gentle swaying of the leaves,
Through the harsh blowing of the wind?

If I fall into you,
Would you promise me serenity?
That though the long wait for me to fall,
Caused you troubled anticipation,
It wouldn’t matter at all?

If I fall into you,
And my suffering ends,
Would I stop feeling this inscrutable fear?
Would this unending feeling of emptiness,
Finally come to a stop right here?

If I fall into you,
Would I find that haven I longed for?
Would I finally find a place for my repose;
Would my lost soul be finally home?

If I fall into you,
And you’d catch me with no doubt,
Would you let me gaze at the moon and the stars,
And let it lit up my eyes?

Let it be the last thing I’d see.
Let it witness my fall, my imaginary sea.
And I’d gladly leap off this tower,
And dive myself into;
I’d gladly swim through the rough breeze,
And finally fall into you.

My Darkest Valentine

My news feed is bursting with valentine craps. From people who seem trapped in love every freaking day to people who hate it more that others have found their halves than not having a high-paying job. I passed through pictures of couples greeting each other online. Why can’t they do it personally, eh? They’re just gonna break up, sooner or later — that’s all I’m sure of.  It happened to my parents, to my friends, to those I know, even those I don’t know, and I’m sure it would happen to them, too. Why do people put themselves in a situation that would only hurt them in the end? Oh, if only I have the ability to break them apart as early as I can, I could have saved them from greater pain. But then, I’m just ordinary, and I can’t even socialize well. I just scroll it down, trying to find something more interesting — for me, at least.

I got nothing to do. I’m jobless for the time being, and I’m just too fond of my current situation to find a new job. Maybe next week, yeah. All I want to do is lay down on my bed until I feel too lazy to sleep that I’d be forced to get up. Oh geez. What a life to have on a February. But then what’s the difference between February and any other month? They’re just the same, they all would pass and repeat.

I absentmindedly scrolled until this particular post from a certain Icarus caught my attention. It read,

“To you, who wants a dark valentine. Comment down and you’re up for a ride you’d never forget.”

I was like, what the heck? I laughed,  not because it’s funny, but because it’s just so weird. And who would want a dark valentine and ruin their fantasy of flowers and chocolates on that day? And since I’m one of the weirdest persons on earth (as what my  classmates/schoolmates during highschool and college address me. They believe I’m some kind of a witch.), I commented, “Yeah sure, what kind of ride is that? ”

The next thing I knew, I was traveling, and it’s not the ordinary travel anyone could get.  I was traveling in another dimension. Wait, am I time-traveling? I wasn’t sure. Well not before someone spoke.

“You can say that this is a time-travel, yeah.”

I turned to where the voice came from. I saw a man, er, how would I describe him? He’s good-looking. That’s all I can say. He was walking with his hands in his pocket. Wew. Looks like a scene from a movie, I thought.

When he was closer, I noticed his neck-level curly hair. Why does he have a more gorgeous hair than I do? His hair has blonde highlights,  but generally he has a coppery hair. I have a dull black hair.  He has fair skin, which instinctively caused me to glance to my arms. Oh, I’m kinda insecure. He’s much taller, yes, because I’m just five feet in height. I think this guy is a six-footer, more or less. He isn’t chubby, not slim, and not too masculine. He was wearing a simple white shirt and denim pants. My eyes landed on his face. He suddenly smiled and I think I just saw Jon Snow in him. With a different hair color. Wow.

“Looks like you’re enjoying the view, eh? He grinned.

“Oh ye – NO!” What was I saying?

He just tilted his head, and whispered something I wasn’t able to catch.

My eyebrows crossed. What did he say?

“It’s something I never intend to let you hear, Aziah.” Then he grinned.

A shuddering fear crept down my spine.

“How do you know my name?”

“Oh, I know a lot of things.” Still with his hands on his pocket, he added, “I even know what you’re thinking right now. You’re afraid of me.” His eyes turned pitch black intensely gazing at me, scrutinizing my soul, I guess.

“Well I can only read your thoughts,  not look into your soul.”

And he can read minds!

“Yes I can.” He nodded in agreement.

My heart started to race like hell. What did I get myself into?

“Don’t get too nervous yet, this ride hasn’t even started.”

“What do you mean ‘this ride’? I don’t get it,” I managed to ask.

He slowly reached for my hand and intertwined our fingers. I think my heart just skipped a beat. What the hell. He laughed. Oh, sh*t, I forgot, he can read my mind. How can I even stop talking inside my head? It’s my only talent. Geez. When his laughter subsided, he squeezed my hand for a second, to get my attention I guess.

“Don’t you remember? You asked for this. You wanted a dark valentine. I’m giving it to you. You can’t back out now.” He returned to being serious.

Our surrounding suddenly disheveled, forming another place. I gaped with what I saw. This is our house!

“Why are we here?” I turned to him.

“Don’t you miss your home?” He smiled.

“This isn’t my home. It’s hasn’t been since God knows when.” I frowned. Bad memories.

“Well why don’t we come in and find out why we are here?”
He took my hand and brought me inside the house. I saw my mom happily humming a song in the kitchen. She was preparing dinner. Right, I remember this. A little girl rushed to her and hugged her from her back. I covered my mouth with my hands. I can’t cry.

“Mommy, what’s for dinner?” The little girl asked.

“You’ll see, later baby Aziah. Now go call your dad upstairs. Tell him dinner is ready in five minutes. Okay?” She smiled sweetly. How I missed that.

The little girl who used to be me rushed upstairs shouting ‘daddy’ on her way up. Someone knocked on the door so my mom walked from the kitchen to our sala. I followed her, dragging this man holding my hand.

“I’m not just a ‘man’ Aziah. I have a name. It’s Icarus.” He said, dryly.

“Yeah, yeah, who cares what your name is.” I countered.

Suddenly I can’t take a step forward so I faced him.

“If you don’t like to walk, you better get your hands off me, you know,” I said, irritated.

Impatiently, I tried to grab my hands, but he wouldn’t let go. He just frowned.


“You just hit a spot in my ego.” He said, pointing a finger to his chest. I just rolled my eyes. In movies or books, it seemed cute, but now that I see it, it’s not. It’s disgusting as hell.

“Okay I quit. Just stop with the ‘disgusting as hell’ in your head.” He let go of my hand.

I rushed to the sala and found my mom talking to a guy, maybe a delivery boy. I walked closer, trying figure out this scene. My eyes widened when the guy raised his head.

“Oh so you’ve seen me already.” Came his voice from my back.

“You’re the delivery boy. What were you doing at our house?” Curiosity kicks in.

“Just watch then you’d know.” He whispered in my ear.

The guy, which turned out to be Icarus, handed a brown envelope to my mom. She opened it immediately. Suddenly her eyes widened as a drop of tear escaped from her eyes. Her hands were shaking as she scanned through the papers. I walked closer, only to find out that my mom is holding pictures. Of my dad. With another girl. What the. So this is how it happened? I felt a rush of anger for Icarus. How dare he to ruin my family?

“I didn’t ruin anything. It was bound to happen. I just helped finish it as early as possible. So your mom won’t live in a relationship full of lies. So that she could make her own choice, whether to forgive your dad, or to leave him. It was still her decision that would matter.”

“And she chose to push my father away, all thanks to you.” I glared at him.

“You may not understand,  but your dad has been with his mistress for three years already and your mom didn’t know a thing. She thought everything was fine. Would you rather have her believing that everything is fine when your father keeps on cheating on her?” He asked, perplexed.

I did not answer him. He was right, though. But I can’t help but cry. My mom and dad separated, and nobody took me into custody, so I was raised by my grandparents.
Icarus once again held my hand. I just stood there wiping away my tears with my hand. When I raised my head, we were again in a different place.

“Isn’t this Vince and Mari’s place?” I whispered to myself.

Icarus just stood beside me, without uttering a word. Maybe he’s contemplating. Suddenly a man came — which I’m sure is Icarus  — who opened a laptop on the table. We were inside Vince’s study room. He switched it on and started  pressing several keys on the keyboard. When he was done, he just disappeared.

Wow, he got some powers.

“Yes I do. You’d like that too?”

I just rolled my eyes.

A minute later, Mari came calling Vince’s name. When no one responded, she checked the laptop and gaped.

“No this can’t be!” she said in a hushed tone.

“I am not going to marry a man who’s broke!” She hissed.

She rushed outside the study, grabbed her things and made her way out. So this is why she broke up with Vince? I thought she said he was cheating on her! I even cursed and yelled at Vince when Mari came crying to me. What the heck. We were fooled!

“Vince wasn’t really broke,  I just made it seem like it. Because Mari wanted nothing but his money.” Icarus explained.

“I can’t believe her!” Was the only thing I was able to say.

He brought me to several places and showed me how other couples broke up. Some just wanted space, some just fell out of love. But in every single situation, Icarus was there to make the break up possible.

“There’s one last place we haven’t visited yet.”

He held me and off we went to a new place. This looks really familiar. Are we in the past or are we —

“In a coming future,  yes Aziah.” He stated, finishing  my thoughts. “And we are in your bestfriend’s place.”

“Shiara’s place?” He nodded.

“Why are we here?” I asked, arms crossed.

“This is going to be your first assignment as a dark valentine,” He smiled sadly.

“Who said I’m going to be like you?” I challenged.

His eyes softened.

“You wanted this, Aziah. I’m sorry but you can’t back out. You’re bound to be just like me.”

Anger filled my mind. How dare he decide regarding my life?

“I’m not going to break other people’s relationship! Why can’t they just break up on their own? No, I won’t become like you! That wouldn’t happen! This is just a dream and you are just a dream!”

“You wanted to break them apart as early as possible to save them from greater pain, right? This is your chance to do that. Hey, look at me.” He said, holding my shoulders. He raised my chin using his hand. His pitch black eyes turned to dark brown, showing concern and regret.

I did say that in my thoughts but I never thought this would actually happen. And seeing those people weeping because of their lost love, I don’t think I can take part on their heartbreaks. I won’t do that.
I fiercely shook my head, closed my eyes and covered my ears with my hands. ‘This is just a dream. This is just a dream’. I kept chanting those words until his voice sounded deep and fainted.


I was breathing heavily as cold sweat rushed down on my cheeks. I stared long at the ceiling, trying to calm myself. It was nothing but a weird dream, thanks God. When I was feeling better, I took a bath and let the cool water relax me.

Later that night before going to bed, I checked my facebook account,  just to update myself. I scrolled it down until a new status update popped on my wall.

‘It wasn’t a dream Aziah. And you can’t hide from your destiny. You are bound to become a dark Valentine. You are bound to end up like me.’

— Icarus


Just A Dream

Last night,
as though the most whimsical of all nights,
It rained in my dream.
But the stars did shine bravely through the tiny bits of crystals
dropping down the streams.
And the moon was in it’s fullest,
Brightest shade of gray.
The breeze that was neither hot nor cold,
Was whispering–
A chant that no one could decipher,
A handful of sand I couldn’t hold.
And there, on a hill by the sea,
And a big tree by my side,
I was lying on a big root,
with a smile i couldn’t hide at all.
Because dear,
You were there,
and I wasn’t alone anymore.

Ps. Can’t find the perfect pic at the moment, so… that’s it. 🙂


Tirik na ang buwan,
Malalim na ang gabi,
Ang mga ibon ay umaawit,
Gamo-gamo, gamgam — kanilang huni.

Ilang oras pa’y sisikat na ang araw,
Ngunit ang simoy ng gabi’y tila panghabangbuhay.

Sa ilalim  ng iisang langit,
Isang bgong simula ang sumasapit.
Ako’y nananatiling nakatingala,
Hinahagilap ang mga kumikinang na tala.

Katahimika’y nakabibingi,
At ang alon ang musika.
Sa bawat hampas sa dalampasiga’y
Dala ang bagong umaga.

Sa pagpatak ng bagong araw,
Ako’y maghihintay.
Sa tabi ng dagat, sa hampas ng alon,
Ako’y mananatili,
Hanggang sa iyong muling pag-ahon.

– a poem I wrote after a night in the beach.


Missing Teaching

And your passion for teaching is one of the reasons I still want to pursue my profession; though the circumstances seem to not let me go on.

A Flower's Thoughts

I filed for a vacation leave so I could submit my documents in applying for a teaching position in senior high school. Unfortunately, half of my day did not turn out well.

The process of applying for an NBI clearance had improved since the first time I applied for one. The thing was, I got a hit. My initial reaction was Weh? Someone has the exact name as mine? Take note that I had three names plus my middle name and my surname.

I decided not to submit in one of the cities I hoped to apply for since I lacked an NBI clearance. I proceeded to the division of Pasig, and tried to submit my application; but the person in charge said that I should submit it to the school where I wanted to apply for. I looked at google maps and saw that it would take me 40…

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Fourthteenth Entry


I was the wandering raindrop,
Lost in mid air on a somber day;
Stranded on a deceitful leaf,
Got me fooled in every way.

And you were the ground, the stream and the sea,
In whichever way, I’d end up to thee.
And when the leaf let me drop through the summer breeze,
I’d be brave to meet you when these hurdles cease.