Because up until now,
I still hate you.
I still blame you for this fear.
I still see myself unworthy of anyone’s attention & affection–
All because of you.
I still remember the vague memories;
The scattered pieces of my broken past.
I still picture myself giving it a try,
Yet I ended up scarred,
Couldn’t even cry.
When will you stop haunting me?
When will this fear subside?
‘Cause I’ve been walking back & forth–
One step forward,
And twice back.
I didn’t even love you,
Didn’t even last for a while.
But still you tattooed fear & pain on my heart.
One day, if you’d get to read this,
I’d like you to know,
That I might be okay again,
But I won’t be fine anymore.