​Dear Ghost: 4

Dear Ghost, 

Your touch of cold misery 
still lingers

in my deepest memory. 

Your bitter laughter

still echoes

when all I could think of is peace. 

Though I try to run

far far away

where I wouldn’t see 

your footsteps; 

Far ahead of you, 

so I wouldn’t be trapped

in your shadow; 

so your darkness

would leave me alone–

You somehow get your way

back into my safe zone

stepping inside

that border

I drew 

with my faintest will

to keep you away; 

You somehow

find a way

to creep into the night

and invade my dreams

and turn it into nightmares; 

You still find a way

to make me feel

uncertain, 

unguarded, 

crippled, 

and unwanted. 

I smile 

and writhe in pain

all at the same time. 

But I shall run still

and build that wall

once again. 

A wall

You can’t break through; 

a wall

that shall crush you

the moment you dare

to even stare at it. 

A wall that 

shall keep me safe

from false hope

and deceitful smiles. 

I’d stay 

behind that wall

where I shall be free

from your toxic words. 

From this moment

to the eternal emptiness to come, 

I shall keep my self free

From your plausible trickery. 

Dear Ghost: 3

Dear ghost,

I apologize.
Because up until now,
I still hate you.
I still blame you for this  fear.
I still see myself unworthy of anyone’s attention & affection–
All because of you.
I still remember the vague memories;
The scattered pieces of my broken past.
I still picture myself giving it a try,
Yet I ended up scarred,
Couldn’t even cry.
When will you stop haunting me?
When will this fear subside?
‘Cause I’ve been walking back & forth–
One step forward,
And twice back.
I didn’t even love you,
Didn’t even last for a while.
But still you tattooed fear & pain on my heart.
One day, if you’d get to read this,
I’d like you  to know,
That I might be okay again,
But I won’t be fine anymore.

Trembling,
Vier.

Remember What I Told You

..
Why are you staring back at me with those eyes?

filled with unshed tears,

filled with untold fears.

This is what you wanted,right?

A taste of short bliss,

A peek of yesterday you’ve missed.

Stop staring at me like that, will you?

Stop telling me I never once told you.

Because I did.

But you didn’t listen.

You didn’t care.

All you wanted was a sad story to share.